


tous mes phantoms son bleus (désolé)

by Dyphen



Series: we are the heroes 'verse [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Alternate Universe- My Hero Academia Fusion, Gen, Quirk Discrimination (My Hero Academia), Running Away, Unreliable Narrator, Villains, couldn't find a way to fit them in, decapitalisation of words, he just loses his emotions kinda :(, michael is a villain, no bnha cast in this one :(, unsympathetic michael?? kinda??, written with the west end cast in mind but i don't mention any details
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:02:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27403972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dyphen/pseuds/Dyphen
Summary: The name Michael originates from the Hebrew name Mikha'el, and translates to “who is like God”. Michael was an archangel in the Bible, and the protector of Israel. It’s one of the most common names for boys in America, and is Michael’s name. He finds this information out on one of the library computers when he’s eight, and Jeremy and him want to find out what their names mean.He's not much of an archangel or a protector, but maybe he can be one day.…or, what happened to Michael.
Relationships: Michael Mell & Jenna Rolan, Michael Mell & Jeremy Heere
Series: we are the heroes 'verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002015
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	tous mes phantoms son bleus (désolé)

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from Désolé by Gorillaz
> 
> this fic is pretty much the same time span as the first; it ends in the same place as jeremy's one did, it's just what happened to michael during that time! 
> 
> i hope you enjoy :))

The name Michael originates from the Hebrew name _Mikha'el_ , and translates to “who is like God”. Michael was an archangel in the Bible, and the protector of Israel. It’s one of the most common names for boys in America, and is Michael’s name. He finds this information out on one of the library computers when he’s eight, and Jeremy and him want to find out what their names mean. 

Jeremy says his name is much cooler than his. “Mine means ‘the Lord loosens’,” he moans, flopping back in his chair. “It’s so boring! Yours means Godlike!” 

He snorts. “It actually has a question mark at the end, though. My name is a question!” 

Jeremy whines. “Yeah, and that’s cool! I wish I had a cool name.” 

He frowns. “Hey, Jeremy’s a cool name. It doesn’t matter what it means, it’s what you use the name for!” he scrunches his nose up. “Or something like that. My mom said that once.” 

Jeremy laughs. “Thanks, dude. You’re the best.” 

He smiles, and looks down at his hands folded in his lap. “Yeah. I _am_ the best.” 

* * *

Jeremy is an outlier in the school. Everyone else edges away in the corridors and lunch queues. Everyone else nudges their table away from his, or flinches when he accidentally brushes someone's arm on the way out of school. 

He brings this up to Jeremy one day. He blinks at the question. 

“Do you want it to stop? I can ask them to stop?” 

Michael laughs. “No, they won’t stop. But does it bother you?” 

He thinks for a moment, his nose scrunching up as he thinks. Eventually after a few seconds he shakes his head. 

“Nah. I have you, don’t I?” 

* * *

He wishes he remembered a time when he didn’t know his quirk yet. 

See, everyone in his dad’s side of the family had a wildly different quirk to another member. Faulty DNA, the doctors said. It gets randomised each time a new person is brought into the family. His mom has butterfly wings which follows the strand of insect-like features prevalent in her family, but his father has an incredible capacity for mental mathematics, and his grandfather had fingers that were drills, and his great-grandfather could snap his fingers to make the weather change like _that_ (or so he’s told- he died when Michael was 2). 

So his parents were stuck with him and his sister. His _perfect_ sister, who had the amazing voice quirk and she could work it almost perfectly, even at the young age of 6, isn’t that _incredible?_ No, yeah, incredible. 

He gets it. No, really, he does. He can’t imagine what it must have been like to be terrified of the sort of quirk your child could get. He’s heard plenty of horror stories of people getting one person’s constitution but the other’s quirk from Jeremy’s insistent research into heroes. 

But still. Doesn’t take much to realise that he’s the second favourite when you look at the family pictures. He’s only ten, for God’s sake. He’s already pushed out of social circles all the time, only has one friend, only gets compliments on his work from the particularly forgiving teachers. Is it so bad that he holds a tiny bit of grudge against his father for telling him to ‘stop doing that to the ants, they didn’t do anything’ and then turning to his sister and telling her she’s absolutely perfect for doing the same thing? 

He kicks the ant hill later when his father isn’t looking. 

* * *

Time flies by fast. His mom gets a new friend and she’s nicer to him than his father has ever been. His mom and father fight a lot more than usual. He hits her harder than usual and hurts her wings. He leaves while yelling tons of expletives. Michael and Angel find her crumpled up on one of the chairs, looking blankly at the shiny wooden table. They get her a box of tissues. Life goes on. 

They all silently agree to never talk about it, ever. 

* * *

One day, he decides that Jeremy is very annoying. 

“-nd we could get into this course, and it’s a full hero training course and you can even apply for a scholarship if you’re worried about your family’s money! How cool is- hey, are you ok?” 

He lifts his head up from where it’s resting in his arms to meet Jeremy’s eyes. They're concerned. 

“Hm? Yeah, I'm fine.” he turns his head to the side so he can watch from his lower down position. 

Jeremy hesitates, but eventually continues even though he probably knows Michael isn’t listening. 

* * *

He’s fifteen when he decides to ditch school. His reasons are that it’s boring and he’s just going to end up dead at 24 anyway, so why not live for shits and giggles for the decade before? 

He travels around with 2 other people from his classes who seem to have the same views- a tall guy named Dustin, and a girl called Jenna. 

While he’s packing his bag at about 11 at night, someone knocks on the door. He freezes and throws the bag behind his bed before saying ‘come in’. 

Amy, his mom’s girlfriend, pokes her head around his door. “Lights out, Michael,” she whispers with a smile, but she must see his wide eyes and his hunched over stance because she comes in and sits down on the floor next to him. 

“Now, I can’t tell you what to do. You’re your own person, even though you’re still a minor, and I have no legal rights over you because I'm not your mom. But if you’re doing what I think you are, then I’d like you to think over it a bit more.” 

He looks down. “What do you think I'm doing?” he says. His voice breaks, but she doesn’t comment on it, and instead tucks a stray strand of hair behind his ear. 

“If you’re going somewhere, you can always go somewhere else if it isn’t the right place to be. But if you’re running away, then no-where is right.” 

He scrunches up his nose. “Did you just quote Newsies at me?” 

She smiles softly as he snorts. “Yeah, I did. But it still stands true.” 

He pauses, and looks at her. “I’m sorry I’m leaving.” 

She shrugs. “Sometimes it’s the right thing. But I don’t want to see you on the TV in a couple years on the villain list, okay, mister?” 

He hesitates. “I can’t promise that to you. It was where I was always headed, so I can’t stop it now.” 

“You can always stop it now. But, I'll respect your choice.” She stands up and makes her way to the door and turns his light out on the way. 

“Night, Michael. Sleep well.” 

She smiles and closes the door, leaving him in darkness except for the pale moonlight streaming through his curtains. 

“Goodnight,” he whispers to no-one. 

* * *

They leave on a nondescript Sunday at midnight and don’t look back. 

* * *

A few days into their runaway plot, he discovers Jenna is quirkless. 

“You- You’re not going to ditch me, are you? My best friend did because I was quirkless, and no-one's wanted to be my friend since. You guys are...” she doesn’t say it, but the implication of _the closest thing to friends I've ever had_ hits close to home. 

He shrugs. “We’re all useless to society. Who cares if you’re quirkless? You’ve survived this far. I’d much rather be quirkless than have the quirk I have.” 

* * *

They get mugged. It doesn’t go well. But he gets hired by the SQUIP gangs, so that’s good he guesses. He doesn’t know what happens to Dustin or Jenna, but he screams at the thugs holding him back to let them go and they do for some reason. The last he sees of Jenna is a terrified glance back and a flash of her dyed hair and then she’s gone. 

He’ll miss her. 

* * *

He’s taken to the leader of their specific group. He doesn’t get his name. 

“What’s your quirk?” he asks harshly, a smirk on his face. 

“I can control people with my mind if I have eye contact with them,” he says, not making eye contact with anyone. The room goes quiet for a moment. 

“You could be very useful to us. What’s your name?” 

“It’s Michael, sir.” 

This makes the people around him laugh, and they laugh for quite a long time. The man in charge grins wider than ever and his eyes seem to glow. 

“Well, Michael. I hope you enjoy your time as a SQUIP.” 

* * *

He ignores every message his mom and Amy send him. 

* * *

He has no idea where he’s going, but goddammit if he doesn’t feel _alive_. 

He’s running down alleyways, getting in heroes faces and then moving tantalisingly far from their grasp. He hears one yell out a particularly bad expletive as he manages to throw them off again and he resists the urge to laugh. 

This is what he wants. This is what he _needs._ Adrenaline coursing through his veins. No consequences unless you’re stupid enough to get caught. Just him, the heroes and enough street smarts to fuck with them until he vanishes and they scream curses while he hides under a manhole cover 10 feet away. 

_This._ This is living. 

* * *

When he finally remembers to charge his phone (more like when he finally gets near enough a charger only slightly illegally), he turns it on and sees six or seven messages from Jeremy, half of which are birthday messages. He huffs and clicks the notification, and sees the most recent one is from this morning. 

_Oh, it’s today._

“Happy 18th birthday to me _,”_ he says mockingly to himself as he types back a _don’t text me again_ or something to that effect, before starting to check the other apps on his phone. 

* * *

He gets ‘promoted’, in a manner of speaking. He just gets given a new coat to wear when doing missions and when at meetings (surprisingly well put together for a villain organisation), and has to be called by his professional name by lower-downs. Even though he didn’t have one previously, he knows the perfect name when asked in front of the gang. 

“So? Who are you?” the man with the glowing eyes asks, the same smirk on his face. 

Michael pulls his whole body up, puts his shoulders down, and takes a deep breath. 

“I am The Controller.” 

* * *

He kills one, two, thirty, forty people, maybe more. It doesn’t matter. nothing matters. 

* * *

years go by. maybe it’s a few weeks, though; he has no idea what day, or even year it is. he starts to spend most of his time underground. 

* * *

someone tells him he got on the latest villain report, and everyone celebrates. he plasters on a smirk and makes a speech about how the heroes will fall one day, and everything feels like it’s on a diagonal for the evening. like he’ll fall off the edge if he’s not careful. 

he thinks about his mom, and amy, and swallows hard and continues drinking the cheap lager he's been handed.

* * *

one day, his eyes tear up for no reason when he sees some new recruits looking young and slightly terrified, but determined, but he doesn’t say anything as he watches them get inducted. they both have powerful quirks, which pleases their leader. 

(if he cries later on in his makeshift bed with dirty blankets, then no-one needs to know that, do they.) 

* * *

...he wasn’t careful. 

The first thought that goes through his brain when he sees jeremy is simply _what the fuck_. he became a hero then. did the one thing he could never do. 

he _hates_ him. 

the second thought he has is less thinking and more focusing on keeping him under control, but it’s a lot harder than it should be, considering how powerful he’s become over the past few years. 

and then everything stops. 

and he just... lets go. lets jeremy get out of his hold, lets it all happen.

he's sick of this. he doesn’t want it anymore. 

_i want to go home._

* * *

at the police station, he’s looked after more caringly than he has since his 14th birthday. they let him take a short shower (he hasn’t been properly clean in years). he's given good food to eat (he’s so hungry). he's given his own space; a cell, of course, but he’s alone with his thoughts for once (he hasn’t been alone- properly alone without anyone around- in so long). 

he falls asleep within half an hour. 

* * *

the first thing he’s asked when he’s brought into questioning is, “What is your name?” 

he blinks. “the controller.” 

the man hums. he has heterochromia (is that what it’s called? where the eyes are different colours?), with one eye being green and the other red. “Your real name.” 

he blinks again. “um. it began with an m, i think. i know that’s not helpful, though.” 

the man nods. “Correct. Your name is Michael Mell. Before this questioning fully starts, do you have any questions? 

he- _michael_ \- nods weakly. “yeah, uh... what year is it?” 

“The current date is the 14th of june 2025.” 

...oh. 

“it’s my 25th birthday today,” he whispers. The man nods again. 

“Indeed. Happy birthday. Now, lets begin.” 

* * *

he's told about someone coming to visit him the day after his questioning. it went quite well actually; yeah, they told he's going to be convicted of murder, but he knew that would happen. he did get to tell the man about the SQUIP gangs, though. he doesn’t care enough about the gang to keep their secrets safe, though he did get annoyed when he realised he had no idea where his base actually _was_. 

...anyway. person coming to visit. should be fun. 

When he’s told about it, he nods silently and continues fidgeting with his hands. it's the most he’s moved in a while. 

maybe he’ll know the person. maybe he won’t. he doesn’t care. 

* * *

it turns out to be jeremy visiting. which is... great. 

“i don’t want to talk to anyone,” he mutters, but jeremy keeps talking. 

He asks him a question about how jeremy got out of his hold, as if he didn’t give up himself. jeremy answers, tells him of someone he trained with before like him. 

jeremy tells him he could retrain to be a person again. 

and this, 

this is the moment that his brain finally tunes in. cogs start turning. he blinks, and looks at jeremy. he can see him taking in his ragged appearance. 

but he doesn’t answer, because honestly? he's scared. it's all he’s known for a decade, how could be possibly retrain? Even though his heart is screaming at him to take the opportunity. 

and then jeremy’s getting up leave, and then he _knows_ he has to stand up now, or it'll be too late, and- 

“i...i wanted to say sorry. controlling you the other day. and i'll do the program. i just... want to feel normal, for once.” it’s the most he’s said in 24 hours, but it feels good. 

so jeremy stays for a while longer. and they talk. admittedly, it’s quite awkward, and at more than one point he doesn’t get something Jeremy’s referencing, but the conversation continues. 

And he smiles, for the first time in a long while. The muscles stretch painfully from underuse, but he doesn’t care. 

He likes this type of pain. 

**Author's Note:**

> if you have any suggestions of ideas for this au, please send them my way! i have thought way too hard about this au than is probably healthy, and i do have some ideas i want to work on but if u think of anything please tell me!!
> 
> that being said, thanks for reading! hope you enjoyed! if you did, comments and kudos are welcome :)
> 
> -arch


End file.
